Monday, July 13, 2009

Those dreaded "3 little words" and the job update

It finally happened last night. I heard those three little words come out of my daughter's mouth: I HATE YOU! After a mini war at the table, she stomped upstairs. Breen's skin is a little thicker than mine. He's a veteran of this war having served on the front line with his own children who are now grown up. But these are all first moments for me. Is it horrible for me to say that I wouldn't mind if she lived with her dad? She's so much like him that it pains me. Where did my girl go? Why is it so easy for her to be perfectly giddy and pleasant with her father and such a bitch with us at home? How easily they forget what a train wreck my ex is. He's like the most dysfunctional Disney World you could ever visit. Sure, when he opens the gates for the kids to come and play the rides look thrilling and spectacular. But if you ride them long enough and look a little more closely, you realize that the rides are held together with bubblegum and tape. After you finally realize the truth, you find yourself literally running around trying to find the exits out; I guess it's just going to take my kids a long time to understand it all. I just don't find his amusement park funny at all. He lures my daughter in with his promises of dinners out and shopping trips. He's speaking her language and I'm wondering where all the money is coming from to pay for his fatherhood. I certainly see very little of it but I do see shopping bags every time the kids come home.

I was offered a job on Friday to work part-time which would possible turn in to full time. At first, I thought it would be a great option but I really sat and thought about my experience at the company when I went to have a working interview with them last Thursday. I couldn't get past the fact that there seemed to be a real lack of friendly energy there among the workers. The business itself is in a huge laboratory/factory setting with only about 6 employees. It's rather sterile with no windows; I need color and friendly people. My creativity would never come in to play there. It's a very repetitive task type of business where the days are spent filling orders to be shipped out. Day after day; week after week. I couldn't see myself there for 8 hours per day for the long run. The rote quality of a dull job would really slowly kill me. Plus, there seemed to be something "plastic" about the owners and I didn't like how they talked about the other employees. So here I am once again back on the job hunting path. I have worked for a long time at jobs that just paid the bills. I'm glad I didn't settle for the first thing offered to me. I wanted to feel good about this company but I'd be hurting and limiting myself if I wasn't listening to my gut.

Here are some photos from the weekend.

Around town:

My friend Wayne took some apron shots for me:

White Beans and Sage (GO OVER HERE FOR THE RECIPE)

Here's the progress on my Helen chair. WOW!! It's nearly finished. I have to order some black and white harlequin fabric for the seat. This chair has my mind spinning about all the ways that I can translate my art: on furniture, on journals, on altered clothing.......hmmmm


  1. My daughter.... who is 25, and has a 2 year old and a baby on the way... still needs me all the time. Yet this morning while I was trying to give her a little advice about a situation she's going thru lately thought the best way to handle what I had to say was to HANG UP ON ME.
    So, I wish I could say that 'I hate you' is the worst of it. Girls have such attitudes even into womanhood.
    I can't bitch slap her because she's pregnant. I can't send her to her father because he's got her fiance complaining in his ear about her mood lately.

    I just remember that we'll see each other later for a family dinner and celebration of my son's 16th birthday and a night out and a happy occasion might be something we all need.

    We're very close and love each other dearly, but some days...... OMG

    Love the aprons and chair! :)

  2. Ummmm, YEAH!
    Oh Jane I can relate. My sweet daughter too, barely 13 - is changing SO FAST!! And mostly with her words and name you know I'm a loser now?
    I don't remember being that "attitudey" with my own mother as she would have surely smacked me in the mouth.
    When you find a solution, let me know, ok? I cannot go on like this for the next 5 years ...I'll snap!

    LOVE the chair, and such cool artsy photos of your aprons! Love it!

  3. Good for you for listening to your intuition with the part-time job, Jane. It doesn't sound like a good fit at all.

    Your aprons and chair are so lovely. I wish you could just sell the beautiful things you make and not have to work a conventional job!



  4. great post! love the photos.

    ugh my daughter is 10 and i'm so wary about the teenage years, but i know they are coming. i know i will hear those 3 little words as well (as i sure said them to my mother as a teenager too). ugh. my heart goes out to you right now!

    i definitely think you made the right choice on the job situation. go with your instincts my dear.

    happy tuesday to you...much love ~

  5. i love that you listen to and live from your heart.

  6. Alrighty, don't worry too much about your daughter. Right now you are the mom, not the friend (as it appears dad is trying to be). They will respect you later in life for this. Its better that you keep her safe, provide a stable environment, not lavish shopping trips of brainwashing. Just keep doing what your doing, don't put up with her bullshit and let her know that you won't put up with it either. She will understand when shes older and the brain washing from the amusement park wares off... Try not to slap her around LOL

    I am glad that you didn't accept your first job offer either, I TOTALLY can't see you doing that everyday, you need to be in a fun, creative, bubbly work environment, where you and the girls can go out for strawberry daiquiri's after. Really tho, you should just move to Niagara Falls and hang out with Boho and I! hahaha we'd have a BLAST!

    Love the veggie recipe, I am going to try that forsure! I am REALLY struggling with my new veggie choices, I do need to find a good cookbook! The apron pics are AMAZING!!! I am going to take your advice and look for a beginners quilting class, something this fall to occupy my time this winter. Who makes a friggin quilt in the summer anyways? LOL

    Keep safe, follow your heart, don't do drugs. hahah

  7. Oh the dreaded "I hate you" moment. You're the one that provides the home and rules, and it isn't just shopping and fun fairs. She will grow out of it and appreciate her mom for the wonderful woman and mother she is. :)

    Your aprons and chair are looking FABULOUS! :)