It finally happened last night. I heard those three little words come out of my daughter's mouth: I HATE YOU! After a mini war at the table, she stomped upstairs. Breen's skin is a little thicker than mine. He's a veteran of this war having served on the front line with his own children who are now grown up. But these are all first moments for me. Is it horrible for me to say that I wouldn't mind if she lived with her dad? She's so much like him that it pains me. Where did my girl go? Why is it so easy for her to be perfectly giddy and pleasant with her father and such a bitch with us at home? How easily they forget what a train wreck my ex is. He's like the most dysfunctional Disney World you could ever visit. Sure, when he opens the gates for the kids to come and play the rides look thrilling and spectacular. But if you ride them long enough and look a little more closely, you realize that the rides are held together with bubblegum and tape. After you finally realize the truth, you find yourself literally running around trying to find the exits out; I guess it's just going to take my kids a long time to understand it all. I just don't find his amusement park funny at all. He lures my daughter in with his promises of dinners out and shopping trips. He's speaking her language and I'm wondering where all the money is coming from to pay for his fatherhood. I certainly see very little of it but I do see shopping bags every time the kids come home.
I was offered a job on Friday to work part-time which would possible turn in to full time. At first, I thought it would be a great option but I really sat and thought about my experience at the company when I went to have a working interview with them last Thursday. I couldn't get past the fact that there seemed to be a real lack of friendly energy there among the workers. The business itself is in a huge laboratory/factory setting with only about 6 employees. It's rather sterile with no windows; I need color and friendly people. My creativity would never come in to play there. It's a very repetitive task type of business where the days are spent filling orders to be shipped out. Day after day; week after week. I couldn't see myself there for 8 hours per day for the long run. The rote quality of a dull job would really slowly kill me. Plus, there seemed to be something "plastic" about the owners and I didn't like how they talked about the other employees. So here I am once again back on the job hunting path. I have worked for a long time at jobs that just paid the bills. I'm glad I didn't settle for the first thing offered to me. I wanted to feel good about this company but I'd be hurting and limiting myself if I wasn't listening to my gut.
Here are some photos from the weekend.
My friend Wayne took some apron shots for me:
White Beans and Sage (GO OVER HERE FOR THE RECIPE)
Here's the progress on my Helen chair. WOW!! It's nearly finished. I have to order some black and white harlequin fabric for the seat. This chair has my mind spinning about all the ways that I can translate my art: on furniture, on journals, on altered clothing.......hmmmm