Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The "David Letterman style" top 10 jobs

OK, so here I start another day of job searching. If I don't laugh at the absurdity of it all, I'll cry enough tears to flood my entire house. Here I present to you the top 10 jobs listed on Career Builder this morning:

10. KFC Team Member/Supervisor (this translates to free buckets of extra crispy chicken and an attractive hair net)

9. Truck Driver for the US Army (I automatically disqualify for this because they only accept applicants 17-41. Isn't this age discrimination for the old geezers like me??)

8. Six Sigma Master Black Belt (This has a very strong and empowering ring to it. Does this mean I could actually wear my karate uniform as I instruct my team on how to put together a lego project? Hey, it pays $50-60 per hour...definitely a step above KFC Team Member)

7. Weekend RN7P-7A Charge Nurse (just don't tell them I don't actually have a nursing degree, okay?)

6. AFLAC Insurance Sales Rep (Maybe I could actually meet Gilbert Godfreid, the duck voice)

5. Floater, Phlebotomy Service (I can't watch my own blood being drawn. As long as you don't mind that I might pass out on you, I'd be happy to stick you with a needle)

4. Label Inspection Assistant (stimulating, I'm sure....)

3. Dishwasher at a Senior Living Center (now here's a job I know how to do really well AND I'm helping some old folks out at the same time)

2. Pizza Hut Team Member and Delivery Driver (I've got my own car...that should be a plus as long as I get reimbursed for the mileage)

1. Dock Worker-Part time (OH MY GOD! Finally a water based job where I might actually be able to kayak at work!!!)


  1. Hey, that free crispy chicken sounds like a way to not cook dinner for the rest of the summer and I'd be willing to apply for that one. So just back off Missy. Position filled!!! hehe

    Now that 'Label Inspection Assistant' one... maybe it could be for like Calvin Klein and it might involve inspecting the label of some lovely underwear AND, just maybe, they could have Ashton Kutcher still in them... so don't discount THAT job 'til you get more info. Just sayin'....

  2. Mary, you know I wasn't thinking about the bonus of not having to cook for the rest of the summer....just not sure about the hair net thing :)))) The Calvin Klein underwear gig could certainly be entertaining but I was thinking more along the lines of inspecting ingredient labels for Godiva Chocolate.

  3. thinking you underestimate the wonderful you - old geezer - lol me too!! I like the Godiva Chocolate one too!!!
    Namaste, Sarah

  4. those were great. hang in there you will find that perfect job

    peace and hugs

  5. So, Ya.... You owe me a new pair of underwear cause I just shit my pants laughing so hard! hahahah Holy shit eh? lol