Thursday, June 18, 2009


Today finds me thinking about connecting. Breen reminded me yesterday of something that happened with our next door neighbor a few days ago. Our neighbors are a bit wacky and very often behave like inconsiderate fucktards. I've noticed that I've expended a considerable amount of energy lately complaining about them. I have this awareness that it raises my stress level when I create this drama. So, we were out on our front porch the other day spraying for ants. Our neighbor struck up a conversation with us about the ants. Breen gave him one word answers; I engaged him with the entire history of our ant problems. Later, knowing how I complain about them, I think Breen wondered why I engaged in any conversation with the neighbor at all. True, I tend to strike up conversations with just about anyone who walks by. I don't need to take in every stray cat off the street and perhaps I should use better judgement sometimes. I know I have this habit of being too nice and easy going at times. BUT....what is the harm in making small connections with other people, even if they annoy us? It takes so much energy to dislike someone and it feels so good to make even the smallest of connections.

As many of you know, my son has Aspergers. He's more of a challenge now that he turned 13. He spends lots of time in his room on his computer. Socializing and connecting with people is a nightmare for him. Admittedly, he's been getting on my nerves lately with his behavior. When I feel this way, I'm finding new ways to step away and recharge myself. When I get centered again, I know in my heart that every single human being on this planet desires to connect with someone and deserves to be loved. As Confucius said, "Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." How can my son possibly know that I know how he feels? I've walked so many miles in those shoes where I thought that everything was ugly and that I was damaged. But ever so slowly, God finally came through and sent me on the path of beauty seeking. Life has been a gorgeous place ever since. Yesterday, I decided to get Max out of the house and have some connection time with him and hopefully help show him some beauty in the ordinary things. We rode our bikes on our favorite trail:

We took the time to literally smell the flowers and eat honeysuckle nectar:

The smile on his face melted my heart:

We stopped our bikes at Starbucks and nibbled on his favorite lemon cake:

We stopped and took pictures of one of his favorite train spots along the trail:

Yesterday, I helped my son connect with some joy and all it took was a bike and a piece of lemon pound cake. Does anyone else see the beauty in this?


  1. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. :)

  2. I absolutely see the beauty in that!!

    Looks like he enjoyed the time together as much as you did.

    There's a woman in our doctors office who is very gruff at times. Most of the staff don't like her and patients and other offices have made comments about her too. She runs hot and cold. Might look at you with disgust one day and the next be sweet and give you a smile. She does her job well enough though for the Doc to like her and that's all he's concerned with.

    Sometimes she has a big bouquet of flowers on her desk, one girl says she buys them for herself as no one else would. I always make a point off telling her that they are beautiful and give her a smile. Even if with just a thanks you, she does respond, because I think a part of all people want and need to feel they are worthy enough of a basic gesture. Even if she doesn't usually give one herself. I don't know what her personal life is like so sometimes I've felt bad about having some things to say about her myself so I try to bring balance to my feelings and just offering the compliment. There is always something nice that can be said if you try hard enough.

    Have a nice day!

  3. I see the beauty in your whole day, Jane. There is never anything wrong with kindness. It is better for you, and who knows what will result? Changes can happen, but if not, you're in a better place. And the smile on your son---WOW!

    Kindness is so important!



  4. i ♥ your blog. and you. oh, and your beautiful son now too. thank you.

  5. beauty in all of it!
    what fun you two must have had

    peace and hugs

  6. We had alot of fun that day! You gotta love starbucks lemon cake!

  7. We're going to make that starbucks cake, Max!
    Yes we are, my love :))