Thursday, August 27, 2009
What's engraved on your soul?
Last night I finished Kitchen by Banana Yoshimoto. I love her writing so much. There are obviously so many things being woven in to the story but one important thing is the main character's love of kitchens. Beyond just the preparation of food, she finds peace and warmth in kitchens. Each time she goes in to the kitchen, she finds small pieces of herself. then, I found this passage in the book:
"Why do I love kitchens so much? It's strange. Perhaps because to me a kitchen represents some distant longing engraved on my soul."
WHAM! It hit me hard as I remembered an experience I had this past Sunday. Breen and I went to the movies. As we walked to the theatre, we passed an old vintage sky blue VW mini bus in the parking lot. I stopped dead in my tracks. My heart was filled with the most intense aching and longing to get in that van and just drive and drive and drive. Mind you, not just ANY car would evoke this feeling. A vintage VW mini bus is my ultimate fantasy. It fits my personality to a tee. I imagine owning one and having it custom painted with a luggage rack installed on top and awesome white walled tires. And curtains hanging in the little windows...made by me of course! The real matter at heart here though is this long standing desire to hit the open road and have adventures. My deepest, truest self needs to know the vast world out there; not just the same old area I have lived in for my whole life. I've never lived anywhere more than 45 minutes away from where I grew up. I long to see other landscapes and meet quirky, colorful people. I long to come across little diners and local restaurants. New snapshots with my camera. Excavating new pieces of myself as the miles tick along. I want to be clear that this is NOT a feeling of "running away". Not at all. I love my life with my magnificent husband and kids. It's just that I've had this longing engraved on my soul for so long now that it's becoming hard to ignore. I need to find a way to have some little adventurous road trips....
What is it that's engraved on YOUR soul?