Thursday, May 21, 2009


Lately, I've really taken a hit with stress and anxiety over my job ending. Honestly though, it goes deeper than being laid off. My job represents the one last piece of "my old life" that I was still clinging to. One by one, all of the things in my old life that I held on to for so long all began to fall away. When I found out my job was ending, it felt like I had been stripped away and was standing there naked. Vulnerable. Unsure. Of course, I have a wonderful new life with an amazing husband who loves me and supports me. But the old tapes have a way of playing even when you thought you could throw them away with the eight tracks. I'm standing on the edge of a new place. I'm scared and excited all at the same time. I'm also looking forward to taking a new and gentle approach with life. I'm looking forward to taking some long and lazy rides on the back roads that lead home to my very core. This is something new for me as I'm usually running around on fumes hoping to make it to the next gas station :)

Last night put in to perspective what the very essence of family and partnership is all about. I am grateful and blessed today to have it. When we got home from Kendall's softball game last night, Breen patiently and perfectly helped Max with his math homework. Earlier, he was in tears but when Breen stepped in, he finally got it.

While he helped with the homework, Kendall sat on a stool in the kitchen and read aloud to me as I made Breen's granola.

After that was all done, Breen put together a hermit crab habitat for the crab Kendall is bringing home today. And I sat there in awe of the simplicity of the evening scene in our house. This is at the core of togetherness: sharing our skills, being together and listening to each other. I almost laugh at the idea of stress and worry. Everything is perfect in its own moment.


  1. You have a lovely family. :)

    I cannot even believe it, but today, my daughter is 25! I posted some old pics at my blog if you want to stop and say hello.

  2. A lovely evening indeed. It is quite often those simple times that mean the most when all is said and done. I can understand those feelings of losing an old life. But the new things can be wonderful additions. Enjoy!

  3. Aww that is wonderful - to come home to peacefulness!! What beautiful children!! I love their names too!!
    I have been struggling with going backwards - so I am kinda there with you - old tapes, stripped bare - I get that. Breathe and hang in there hon!! Blessings, Sarah

  4. Jane:
    This is a wonderful post. Truly. What a gift you were given to see the truth of your life in the current moment instead of all the shadows that we take for solid...I actually took a deep breath as I read this.

    I understand about your shedding old identity. I truly understand this. And, I've struggled greatly with it.

  5. simple things are the things that give us the most joy and make us grounded

    you are one of those girls!

    peace and hugs

  6. I remember when I was laid off from my job. It was just another ending to a great deal of things that year, almost felt cleansing for me, although it was a terrible stressful time in my life! Glad you have such a great guy, and awesome kids!!

    Don't be too scared, the universe has a plan for you, something VERY exciting I'm sure, I can't wait to hear about your new adventures! Sluff off the old skin ;)

  7. OH OH OH!! I was out doing some Grocery shopping with Boho Mom, and I'm like oh, what the hell is that, is that KALE??? And she was like yeah, its great, and I had read your post about the Kale Chips, so she convinced me to buy a big bunch, got them home, made the chips and LOVED them. I really like Kale raw too, going to try a shake in the morning, I love the earth flavour!! Thanks for the recipie ;)

  8. I loved hearing about your evening, and I also understand about your feelings about change---leaving an old life, taking on a new (even though better) life. It's hard and anxiety is a normal part of it. I wish you very well as you start this latest adventure. In three months your life will be different, and I think absolutely wonderfully different! Peace and blessings and love, O