The first word that came to mind today was "growth". I have been stuck in old patterns of thinking for such a long time. There are 2 very specific areas where I need to grow and stretch: dealing with my ex-husband and finding the work life that is meant for me.
As you may know, I've been unemployed since June of this year. This has been a time of challenge for me. I've had to confront some really nasty self-sabotaging thoughts. Every day as I continue my job search, I feel frustrated. I'm answering ads for things that fit my "old life". Things that look interesting seem way out of my league and I find myself thinking horrible, limiting thoughts about my potential. I'm acutely aware of how society values a person's profession. It seems like everything I read is followed by the person's occupation and brief bio on their accomplishments and it leaves me feeling so insignificant. What is my true purpose here? There is a magnificent way of earning a living out there just for me but I have no idea how to get to it. My wish today is to destroy the old tapes and stretch my possibilities as far as they can go.
As far as my ex-husband is concerned, I've had a long history of swallowing my anger and letting him walk all over me. He gets away with so much because I never have the nerve to challenge and confront him. Instead of speaking to him directly, I've been directing harsh words to my kids instead. He often intimidates me with his craziness and he knows exactly how to cut me to shreds with a single word or two. He is a 47 year old emotional bully who is actually more like a scared little boy on the inside. Lately, I see myself stretching in the smallest ways. He no longer has control over me. I'm remarried and living a wonderful, loving life with my soul mate. Actually, he never had the control in the first place; I simply reacted in ways to his behavior that gave him the upper hand. This week, I set the wheels in motion with the court system, which is something I avoided for far too long. I'm no longer afraid of his reaction. I'm prepared to speak my mind and stand my ground. Today, my wish is to keep stretching in ways that make me more confident and strong when dealing with him and his parents.
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Jane...you're right...part of our paths are side by side at this time.
ReplyDeleteI am going to suggest something to you which may further liberate you from your fear of dealing correctly with your former husband. If I may be so bold?
You write here: "I'm remarried and living a wonderful, loving life with my soul mate..." and I want you to say thank you to your former today.
Thank him, because if not for him, you would not know what is right, correct, and nurturing for you. He taught you what was incorrect for you so that you would begin stretching toward what is right for you.
When you can look at a person who delivered such a hard lesson to your life and be grateful for the lesson, the personality doesn't have such a hold on your psyche' any longer.
And, you have the power of gratitude that helps you deal more effectively with them. You no longer have to guard yourself against them because the natural balance between you begins to return.
As Jane wishes so well for herself, so I lovingly and with intention wish for her also.
As Jane wishes for herself, so I do wish for her also. :) Happy stretching.
ReplyDeleteAs Jane wishes for herself, so I do wish for her also.
ReplyDeleteOh Jane..my heart is sooo with you here!! I have been in your shoes..so deeply!! I spent years letting my ex play me..when I stopped and let it go..my world changed in huge ways. Good luck and sending power your way!!!
As for the other stretching hon...may you find your True North!!! Namaste, Sarah
Hi Jane,
ReplyDeleteKeep digging for your true purpose. It's there. I'm guessing, it's afraid to come out. I teach a life shop called "Step Into Your Greatness & Make Your Own Economy." Will bring it onto the Internet soon. Perhaps start thinking out of your league. maybe it's your perceived league that's not right. I wish you to stretch way out of your perceived league!
Giulietta
As sweet dear Jane wishes for herself, so I wish for her also! Rememeber if your ex was a great guy, you'd still be married to him! Thank him for the 'sperm' deposit and your lovely children and enjoy the rest of your life with your true soul mate! Also remember that the happier you are in your new life the angrier he will get and the more he will try to upset you, don't let it happen. As for the self doubt stop by and check out my post today...it may help! Love you Jane!
ReplyDeleteAs Jane wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
ReplyDeleteYou are growing in self respect and strength, this is obvious in your new attitude towards your ex. The self respect and strength are necessary to find your true path/calling in life.
So, as Holly suggests, you have further reason to be grateful for who you have become due to your difficult past. Blessings
as Jane wishes for herself, so I wish for her also!
ReplyDeleteAs Jane wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. May your strength and confidence continue to grow as you stretch and shine.
ReplyDeleteAs Jane wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. I pray that you are abundantly filled with strength and confidence daily.
ReplyDeleteAlways so much strength I find in you woman... Have heart - this Ex step is huge, I feel the power rolling off of your wish and I feel you owning this. I've been 'seeing' dolphins all morning, and as I read this, I saw you, one foot on a dolphin's nose being propelled in a high-arcing, graceful dive off into a limitless sea... don't know why I saw it, just did.
ReplyDeleteAs Jane wishes for herself, so too do I wish for Jane♥((brightest wishes))
~Shamsi
As Jane wishes for herself, so I blissfully wish for her also.
ReplyDeleteYou have a community of women surrounding you with thoughts of strength!
Be positive, Be strong, Hold your ground, Be alive and happy!
ReplyDeleteAs Jane wishes for herself, so I sincerely wish for her also.
ReplyDeleteI've been searching for my life's work as well, so I can completely relate. I think that we all know what our work on earth is supposed to be. If we would just get out of our own way, the universe is filled with infinite possibilities. I'm wishing and praying that you recognize your worth, value, talent, and potential, and that you recognize the possibilities surrounding you.
Wishing you peace and goodness.
"I have a wonderful work in a wonderful way.
ReplyDeleteI give wonderful service for wonderful pay!"
Florence Scovel Shinn
As Jane wishes for herself, so I joyfully wish for her as well.
ReplyDeleteStretch yourself right into the job you haven't even dreamt up yet!
As Jane wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
ReplyDeleteJane, that which you wish for, i wish for you also. with much love. :)
ReplyDeleteAs Jane wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
ReplyDeleteI pray that the things you wish for will come true as well
ReplyDeletepeace and hugs
As Jane wishes for herself I so wish for her as well.
ReplyDeleteAs Jane wishes for herself, so I do wish for her also.
ReplyDeleteEmotional abuse is probably the worse kind of abuse - no scars on the outside.
May all your wishes and dreams be fulfilled!
As Jane wishes for herself, so I do wish for her also.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone above. Your ex had a purpose in your life...you have your children and he showed you how "not to live your life" and now you have moved on to bigger and better things. I know something will come along in the job market soon.