Wednesday

Here we are 4 days in to another rainy day. I'm at the office now and I have to say that it is almost a surreal experience to be coming in here every day working towards my last day. In other ways, it is the end of an era and I knew it had to come. I'm such in impatient soul....I want to know right now what's behind the next door.

I have this ritual now. Every night, I take a hot bath. I turn off the lights, light a candle or two and settle in to the warm water with my grandmother's silver rosary. I'm not really sure it makes me feel connected to her spirit but it does help me feel closer to God. I let the thoughts pour out of me along with the stress from the day. It's become a great way for me to breathe deeply and get a few minutes of meditation.

Yesterday, I got a call from a woman who is a "friend of a friend". She is looking for a "right arm" to assist her in her hectic business. We are meeting tomorrow. It seems that there could be some room for future growth in the company. I have good skills to bring to her table if it was indeed a right fit for each of us. But a funny thing happened. When she first called, my first reaction was that I was really looking forward to being home for the summer. There has never been a better time in my life to really investigate where my passions are and how they might be best served after my current job. As much as I need to bring a paycheck home, I don't want to jump right in to a job that only serves that purpose again. I've always been a very late bloomer. I have this feeling that the best of myself is certainly yet to come. I also feel in my gut that losing my job right at the beginning of the summer happened for a reason. Do I follow my gut or do I get swept up in having to get to another job right away? If this potential job was offered, would I have the faith to say no even though I have no idea when the next job opportunity could come my way? This is where my faith feels constantly tested.