New paths

There is a lot going on these days. I'm working through the grief cycle of no longer having my job as of May 31. My boss and I have been working closely together these past few days to hammer out a game plan for how to do all of this gracefully and efficiently. We each have strengths and insights that the other doesn't; that is what has made a great relationship for all these years. Yesterday, it hit me that I know she is doing the right thing by closing it down. I know that I needed to leave on many levels and I know that the very business she loves is also wearing her down.

This morning on the way to work, I saw a beautiful sight. A man was kneeling down on the sidewalk taking a picture of the fallen cherry blossoms. He looked like an ordinary guy with a backpack on his way to work. What made me smile was that he saw some beauty around him and stopped to capture it. The sight of the blossoms on the sidewalk instantly made me realize that our new paths, which are sometimes uncertain and scary, can also be beautiful. It is how we choose to see things. I can walk this new road with fear and resistance or I can trust that there is a blanket of beauty cushioning the steps. It's up to me.

I have this feeling that I am about to embark on a life changing adventure after this job is over. For a long time now, I've been beating myself up trying to figure out what I want to do for a living that I actually feel passionate about. The harder I am on myself, the more elusive the answers are. It's time to take control of my life. Get it organized and take some walks down some new paths. Take some time to be still and listen to what God is saying. There was a time when I could never imagine the life I am blessed with now. Not too long ago, I was alone raising 2 kids. I had debt. I was destined to be on my own. Then I met Breen and got married. Months ago my father ,out of the blue, called me and said that he wanted to pay off my car loan. I then decided to dip in to my savings and pay off all of my credit cards. I stand here today on the edge of unemployment with no debt in my name, an incredible husband and family & friends that love and support me. Not to mention, I'm loaded with artistic vision; a gift that may bring me to places I never imagined.

I've got lots to do and I'm actually kind of excited. I'm starting yet a 3rd blog today on my journey through a meatless year. At first I thought I was crazy to take on so much blog management but then I realized how much my life changed when I started my very first blog. Meeting one person here in my blog world that feels like a soul friend is worth more than a dozen acquaintances that I could meet in the real world. I'm going to take these life changes on and I hope I continue to learn and grow through my writing and the people I meet.