Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Mysterious Ways of the Big Man Upstairs

God has a funny way of doing things. Mysterious and downright ridiculous at times really. Take yesterday for example. I go to work. My boss comes in after lunch and announces that she's closing the company and we no longer have jobs as of May 29. I can't say it comes as a surprise. We all saw it coming. I manage the business so of course I see the books daily. But I'm an interesting creature of habit. I clung to that job like a life jacket for nearly 7 years. Of course, I love what we do and I believed we could rise from the ashes like a phoenix. But God was sending me the signs for a while. In fact, yesterday on my way home from work, I could have sworn I saw a 30 foot billboard with a picture of Jesus and a stack of lumber. A big slogan read: God...smacking you on the head with two by fours since 1982.

Last night I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 3:30. I went out to my front porch with coffee at 5am this morning. As I sat there, I started thinking that I owe it to myself to check out some schools to see what kind of creative programs/degrees they offer. I figure as long as I'm on the job search treadmill for a run-of-the-mill desk monkey job, I might as well step outside the box too. It only requires some student loans and hey, at 44 it's all worth it as I scramble to reinvent my wheel. I also figured there are two ways to skin this cat:

1. I can continue to lay in the middle of the road in a pool of pity party and get squashed by the mack truck OR

2. I can get the hell out of the road, dust my mini-skirt off and head off to a new road

Yesterday, I don't know who cried more: my boss or me. We've been friends for a long time. She put 22 years in to her career. She's in over her head with debt and she's apologizing to ME for having to end my job. It's never easy for anyone when these things happen. Still, I've never faced unemployment and I've always found it essential to find a way to pay my own way. Unemployment feels degrading. Not to mention, it's a hell of a way to start off a new marriage.

Husband: Hi Honey! How was your day?

Wife: Great, sweetie! The company is folding and I won't have a job in 30 days. You'll have to pick up the slack for a while. You don't mind do you?? Oh, and the plan to save money for a house and our upcoming honeymoon....but don't worry. The upside is that you'll have the cleanest house in the neighborhood, your boxers starched and dress shirts color coded every day....

1. Call Exterminator (yes, I still have those pesky ants)

2. Stop by police station to show proof of insurance and mail off citation (that's a story for another day)

3. Pretend that all is calm

4. Be one with the hamster and get back on the job search treadmill

5. Work out

6. Breathe deeply to avoid hyperventilation caused by "Oh my god, what the fuck am I going to do" syndrome.


  1. Jane, this could very well be a blessing in disguise. Sending best wishes your way as you embark on a new adventure! :)

  2. You will be absolutely fine!! You've got a wonderful, supportive hubby, great children, lots of good friends and family. Go out there and find what interests you and just DO IT!!

  3. jane, i'm intimately with these "oh fuck" moments. writing about them gets me through it just like does our men, our families and some really good cries...

    breathing with you...

    lil xo

  4. Wow, Jane, what news! I do think this is a new start for you. I just got "fired" from my job and am starting over too. My thoughts will be with you. I hope you are able to LEAP into what makes your heart sing! Love, O

  5. Jane, I love your new blog and your ramblings so inspire me!. I'm sad to hear about your job but I believe that this is part of a new chapter in your new life which is going to be great!
    you will be in my thoughts.

    as always Peace and Hugs

  6. Jane--a couple of items I'd like to address before getting to the whole job/no-job thing.

    First off, God has both male and female aspects. When you get the 2 X 4 upside the head, that was the guy we call God. When the workings of the universe are mysterious, that's the lady God ("Goddess" is better, I guess).

    As to the potential advantages for your husband, you have it backward. It is "dress shirts starched, boxers color-coded." He will back me up on this one.

    Of course, I'm being a wise-ass, but the truth is simple. You are an intelligent, passionately caring, and dedicated potential employee with proven skills. You will get a job, and the lucky one in the transaction will be your employer!