MOVING DAY!!!!

This blog is moving back to my original Painted House blog. Please visit over here for all the new posts!

The Weekend Review

We had a great weekend. The weather was beautiful and we spent a lot of time outside enjoying the sun. On Saturday, we took the kids to a funky little shopping area outside of the city. To my utter delight, I found a box of "The Housewives Taro: A Domestic Divination Kit." I have a small collection of Taro decks and this was one that I know is utterly unique! Check out these images. The deck comes in a box that's arranged like a recipe box. Some of the tab dividers have recipes from the 1950's. I love it.



Breen and I checked out a new church yesterday. It's going to be a slow process since our spiritual beliefs are pretty specific. I keep thinking that we'll walk in to a church and know immediately that it's our new home. But I'm not sure it works that way. Still, we're taking small steps out there to hopefully find it.

This morning (and all of yesterday), I've been fighting a head cold. The kind that doesn't make you feel miserable but just enough to be downright annoying. So I'm taking it easy.

I'm considering moving this blog over to The Painted House blog. I miss my original blog that I started so many years ago. It was the birthplace of my writing and my blog community connections. I had started to use it for my art only but I'm beginning to see that I like one place to blog about everything.

Last, but not least, some photos from the weekend:

Wishcasting Wednesday: what do you wish to experience?

Within the past year and half, I've been given the blessing of new beginnings. A clean slate. A blank canvas. I pocketful of seeds. As each day comes and goes, tiny patches of light are revealed so that I can see just a tiny bit more on this path. It's taken me this long to realize that time spent time travelling back to my past is unproductive and a waste of blessings. Life is right here. Right now. In this moment. There is so much to experience. So much to jump up and down with joy for.

I wish to experience:

*The process of writing a book. I've started writing down the foundation.

*Taking my knitting skills to a higher level

*Owning my own business one day. Perhaps a store filled with art, coffee, books, poetry readings, acoustic music nights and lots of good conversations with my community.

*The freedom of not looking back and the joy of living every single moment.

*The perfect livelihood

*The perfect unique house for Breen and me.

*bottomless joy, never ending possibilities and fearless action

*creating a website for all of my creations and actually selling them (this is a BIG challenge since I'm not exactly tech savvy)

*deeper connections with my faith and my community

*going back to school to get certified in teaching; ultimately in Special Education

planting new seeds

If you've been following along for a while, you know that I'm job hunting. More important than "job hunting" is the search for my right livelihood. So often I think people stay inside their boxes. Especially those of us who have accumulated years of life experiences plus the conditioning we got over and over again from our childhoods. We tell ourselves limiting thoughts and after a while we forget the joy of unlimited possibilities. I am so tired of finding myself harping over my age and skill set. I'm so tired of being intimidated by my ex, even though we haven't been together for years.

Today I realized that I've been looking back too much and reflecting on my past experiences. My first marriage was the worst 12 years of my adulthood. Woven in there are the jobs I took which really did nothing for my spirit. But guess what? I'm no longer in that crappy marriage and I'm no longer working those crappy jobs. Sure I'm 45 but I've also been given the most amazing blessing of a new marriage to an amazing man and finding myself with no job. It's like I've been given a whole new plot of land to plant some new seeds. A blank canvas to paint. In my mind and spirit I can be ageless. I can feel the joy of starting just where I am today with a handful of seeds and a plot of fresh tilled soil. If you're over 30, do you remember when you were fresh out of high school and the world was your oyster? Many of us had no kids back then. No real bills. No real responsibilities. Everything was new and full of possibility. We can still go back there any time and at any age just by changing our thinking habits. I don't have to keep time travelling to my past and limit my thinking or define myself by the skill sets that never served me well in the first place. Having new seeds to sow is my biggest gift and blessing. That, my friends, is joy. Pure joy.

Six Word Saturday

Creating brings out my inner beauty.






I've come to understand that I am at my absolute best when I'm creating. I find myself in a zone; a unique state of bliss. If the energy is right and the planets line up just so, I could get lost for hours in a project. I've always been frustrated that God gave me this gift of creativity and I've never been able to focus on just one thing. My talents run all over the place from painting to knitting to sewing to making books. Now if I could just channel all of these talents in to a full time gig.....

Surrendering

This morning, I had a very big "ah ha" moment while I was driving in my car. It hit me that relationships extend well beyond just those we have with people. We have relationships with our higher power, we have relationships with work. I have intimate relationships with each piece of art I create. Let me back up a bit to give a clearer picture.

Last night, I had to take an on-line Microsoft Office test for a potential job. Even though I have many years of work experience, I really never used PowerPoint or excel very often. I never really had a need to do elaborate word documents. I completely bombed the test. My mind, by habit, started berating me with things like, "you're so stupid and everyone will see you as an idiot" and "you will never get another office job again if you can't work these programs." But guess what? I have never been passionate about administrative work; it's simply something I fell in to long ago and stayed out of habit. I don't really give a rat's ass about learning all of these programs. Building pie charts and creating mail merges is about as exciting to me as listening to the evening news in Greek.

I've always thought of relationships as something to do with people. A few months before I met Breen, I had finally had it with bad relationships. My habit of giving myself over to the wrong men was a vicious cycle. Before I met my ex-husband, I found myself in a nightmarish abusive relationship that took too long to get out of. Then I married my ex and stayed in a loveless marriage for over a decade. After my divorce, I had a string of unhealthy relationships with men who never could give as much as I was giving to them. I wasn't really able to shine in those relationships because they were a bad fit. After my last bad relationship came to a halt, I distinctly remember a conversation I had with God in which I surrendered. I said to Him, "Ok God, I'm done with bad relationships. I see my patterns and I hear you loud and clear that this is not what you want for me. If your intention is for me to be alone, then show me the best way to be strong as a single person. If you have a wonderful partner for me, please let him be revealed. But I will not accept any more of the bad relationships; I'd rather be alone." I didn't ask and beg God for a new man; I simply surrendered and made myself open to receive whatever the big plan was. Three months later, I met Breen and a year to the date of our first meeting, we got married and my life with him is more than I could ever have imagined. I honestly never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would have this level of deep and pure love.

Just like my history of bad relationships with men, I have a history of bad relationships with jobs. I've spent over 20 years working jobs that I never felt very passionate about. I think the humiliation and pain of taking that test last night was God's final way of saying, "OK, you don't seem to be listening to a single message so I'm going to throw you a big sign that I do not want you to keep seeking administrative jobs." Mind you, there is nothing wrong with being an administrative assistant. It is simply not for me. So today, from a job standpoint, I realized that I am in the exact same place as I was before I met Breen. I sat there in my car and surrendered this job thing over to God. I told Him that I hear loud and clear that I'm meant to go much further outside my job box. I told him that I want a wonderful job that showcases my talents and that I will not accept any more bad jobs. I have faith that, if God answered my prayers and brought me Breen, he can do the same with a job.

It feels like I've abandoned my blogging lately. I'm still here in spirit but I think I've just needed more time spent with only me. I've got some time now to get quiet, less distracted and more tuned in to the messages from the Universe. I've had some bad days (poor husband for putting up with me) and I'm finding myself now in much better places with myself. I'm still creating as I continue the job search. I've started a file with clippings of art and craft that inspires me. Last weekend, I took a workshop for this and I'm letting my brain run full speed ahead with the myriad of opportunities for designs:

I'm also finishing and starting new hand painted furniture pieces and also finishing up some aprons for Etsy.

I've been cooking less and walking more. In the midst of my meatless food blog, I realized that I was packing on a few pounds with all the things that were constantly being tested in my kitchen.

I've been reading like crazy. For some reason, I'm really craving words right now. Any and all kinds of books will due. I've got tall stacks from the library strategically placed around the house.

I'm finishing up my last meditation class this week, which I will truly miss.

I've reconnected with an old book that finally was returned to me: Organizing from the inside out by Julie Morgenstern. A fabulous book if, like me, you're forever trying new ways to get on top of the house. I'm taking one room at a time and breaking it down in to small cleaning projects. This morning, I tackled one little storage cabinet and one counter top in my kitchen. Throughout the remainder of the week, I'll continue with one or two cabinets each day until the kitchen is finished.

I'm simply allowing myself the time to explore, rest, search and listen. And that feels good.